Almost Done

Almost Done 1/1 [G] Mc S/Ch

Title: Almost Done

Author: Maximummii

Codes: Mc S/Ch

Feedback: Yes please.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns them. I'm just having a little fun. N.B. No redshirts were harmed during the making of this story.

Other: Thanks again Artemis for the beta and the title.

Summary: This takes place at the end of Wrath of Khan.

Almost Done


I’ve almost done. At least he’ll look presentable. I did my best for him. I know he’d say it was illogical to put myself at risk like that, but it was something I had to do for him. The last thing...


Protocol dictates that anything as badly contaminated as his body should immediately be placed into a radiation proof container. But I couldn’t let that happen to him. Jim understood. He felt the same. We couldn’t just dump him out the airlock so he asked for a volunteer to decontaminate the body as far as possible. Scotty was first in line. I would have done that too but he knows far more about that than I do. They both offered to help me with this but I wanted – needed to do this myself. After all it’s the only time I’ll ever be able to hold him. The only time I’ll have him to myself. The only time I can talk to him, to tell him how I feel – felt – no, feel - about him. He may be gone but I still love him, will always love him.


He knew. Of course he knew. I never told him. I didn’t have to. He was a touch telepath and I’ve had to touch him on numerous occasions. I tried to keep my feelings to myself and mostly I succeeded but when he was shot that time...


I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared, not even when the Vians tortured me. Somehow I kept it together, but by the time we were beamed up he couldn’t stand on his own. Jim and I were holding him.


Ha came to me afterwards. He was very understanding, very gentle, much more so than I could have hoped for or expected. He told me the need to procreate is so strong in Vulcans that it far outweighs virtually all other urges and desires, and therefore homosexuality is non-existent. It’s not even physically possible. Something to do with female secretions. He told me that he valued me as a friend, a brother even, but nothing was ever going to come of it. He even told me that if it was possible he thinks it would have been me. I don’t know if that made it better or worse.


When I first knew him I did wonder if he was completely sexless. We were surrounded by handsome men and beautiful women but not one of them seemed to interest him. Of course there was the business with Leila and then it turned out he was married, or engaged or whatever, but even after that he never showed much interest in anybody until Sarpeidon. Zarabeth really knocked him sideways. I know he was under the influence of his uncivilised ancestors but I really think that if he met her in our time the effect would have been the same. Probably without the attempted murder though.


Chris wore him down in the end. Turns out that the reason he went to Gol was to get her out of his head. He was afraid he’d make her unhappy. After V’Ger ascended they had a long talk and she convinced him that she was willing to take the risk. He was wrong. He made her very happy.


Would I have been that happy? Could I have made him happy if things had been different?


Look at his hands. Musician’s hands. Could’ve been surgeon’s hands. What wouldn’t I have given to feel them caressing me instead of Chris. I’m not jealous of her. Well, not much, but I accepted a long time ago that friendship is all I could have and I’m fond of her too, and he needed to be loved. Better her than a stranger. She would do anything for him. She had to undertake some pretty gruelling treatment to alter her body chemistry slightly. The side effects were horrendous but she never complained. Spock told her she didn’t have to do it. Then he ordered her not to. That was the only time she out and out ignored him.



I called her to tell her what had happened but she already knew he was dead. She was calm, so calm...


“But he saved the ship?”


“Yes, Chris.”


“Then he’d say it was worth it.”


Right, just his face left to do. I can’t repair the damage completely. Dermal regenerators don’t work as well on dead skin, but at least I can reduce it a little.


He was crumpled against the side of the radiation chamber when Jim reached us. He stood up and straightened his jacket. He was dying in the most painful manner, and he straightened his jacket. So typical. Then he walked towards us. That’s when we realised he was blind...


I dare say Jim will insist on saying something about how human he was. He wasn’t, he was – Spock. He tried to live his life by Vulcan ideals and tried to make out he had no emotions, but he couldn’t see a kitten or a tribble without petting it, and a crying child always distressed him. Just after the V’Ger incident he admitted to us that in all our missions the only time he had been scared, terrified even, was when he thought he was going to be marooned on Miri’s planet. He wasn’t worried for his own safety. It was the thought that he was going to have to watch those children go mad and die. Some people would have made plans to cut and run, leave the city and go it alone, but he wouldn’t. Food was running out and he would have had to stay and try to take care of them, no matter how small a difference his efforts would ultimately make.


Nyota’s outside. She’s going to use make up to cover anything I couldn’t repair. She loved him too. He meant a lot to a lot of people. He was a friend, a mentor, a brother... Chekov’s walking around like a zombie, and I’ve never seen Sulu cry before. Ever since he finished here Scotty’s been in his quarters playing laments on his bagpipes.


There, finished. Just one thing left to do. It’s the only time I’ll ever get to kiss him.


“Goodbye my love.”

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