After the Credits: For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky


For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky

by Ster Julie

Codes:  S/Mc
Genre:  Drama, Angst

Rating:  PG

Part 1 of 1


Summary:  McCoy learns the consequences of marrying Natira.  Could this be the catalyst that sent Spock away from McCoy, away from Starfleet, and into the arms of the Kolinahru?


A/N:  Yeah, I checked the transcripts.  How could McCoy tell Natira that he was so lonely if he had a relationship going with Spock?  So, this is slightly AU. 




"Mister Spock stayed by Doctor McCoy's side while he recovered from the xenopolycythemia, Captain," Nurse Chapel reported to Kirk, "but I have not seen him since late last night.  Perhaps he is studying the Fabrini records."


Kirk merely nodded in response.  It was more evident to him that Spock was experiencing the fallout of McCoy's recent actions on Yonada.


"And where is the doctor now?" Kirk asked.


"Doctor McCoy was released from sickbay early this morning," Chapel replied.  "He should be back in his own quarters."


"Thank you, Nurse," Kirk said as he left.  /Oh, Spock!/ he thought, /there's going to be hell to pay!/




Leonard McCoy was glad to be in his own quarters again.  It was bad enough to be sick, but being sick in as public a place as Sickbay just added insult to the indignity.  He was still weak and slightly nauseous from the Fabrini treatment Spock had found on Yonada, so his first order of business was to order himself to bed for the morning, perhaps longer.  He was too tired to understand it, but he noticed that something was not right as he moved through his cabin and washroom.  Leonard decided "tomorrow is another day," and opted to worry about it later.


It was as Leonard's head hit the fresh pillow on his bunk that he realized what it was. 


There was nothing left of Spock there, not the Vulcan's spare robe, not the extra toothbrush and comb in the lav, not the faint aroma of incense in the room, nothing.


Even Leonard's pillow was taken, replaced by one with that fresh-from-the-replicator smell.


"What the blazes is going on?" he asked of the empty room.  Tired though he was, Leonard pulled himself out of his bed, pulled on his uniform sans boots, and padded down the corridor to Spock's cabin.


There was no answer to his repeated hail, and for some reason, he wasn't surprised.  Using his medical override, he entered Spock's darkened cabin.


Leonard waited until his eyes adjusted to the dim light from the assenoi before he moved to Spock's sleeping area.  He found the Vulcan curled on his side and clutching the doctor's old bed pillow to himself.




Spock was exhausted.  He had spent many hours at Leonard's bedside, then catalogued the Fabrini records until he was bleary-eyed.  During this time, he thought of recent events on Yonada.  Spock admitted to himself that it had hurt to hear of Leonard's fatal illness from Captain Kirk.  It had hurt him even more to hear of Leonard's marriage to Natira.


Spock wondered when the communication had broken down between him and his Leonard.  He couldn't remember a time after their relationship had begun when they had kept secrets from each other.


Spock doubted his ability to choose a mate that would be faithful to him.  T'Pring's infidelity with Stonn had wounded Spock, and he swore to himself that he would never again get into a similar predicament.


Yet, here it had happened again.


Spock was exhausted.  He toed off his boots and reclined on his bunk.  He reached down to the far side of the bed and retrieved Leonard's bed pillow.  There had been no logical reason to take it when Spock cleared his belongings out of the doctor's quarters, but he was comforted by the scent of his t'hyla, his former t'hyla, as he clutched it.


He heard the signal chime.  Someone was at his door.  /Most likely Leonard,/ he thought.  Spock was not interested in speaking to anyone. 


It didn't surprise him when Leonard entered without being invited.




"What the blazes is going on, Spock?" Leonard asked without preamble. 


Spock didn't answer.  He stayed curled on his side, clutching the pillow more tightly.


Leonard spooned up against Spock's back.


"Please get out of my bed, Doctor," Spock said coldly.


"Oh, so we're back to 'doctor,' is it?" Leonard retorted.


"Please get out of my bed," Spock repeated.


"We need to talk," Leonard stated firmly.


Spock turned to look at Leonard.  "Now you wish to talk?" Spock asked.  He pulled himself out of Leonard's arms and stood.  "Very well.  Why didn't you tell me?  Why did I have to find out from Jim that you were dying? That you were staying behind?   That you were married?"


Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose wearily.  "Look, Spock," he began.  "Hearing that I was dying made me a little crazy.  I did things without thinking.  I thought if no one knew about my disease, that it would go away.  I knew that if I told you, things would change between us, and I didn't want to change what we had."


"You changed things very quickly when you met Natira," Spock countered.


Leonard nodded.  "Her world was dying, and I was dying," Leonard stated.  "I didn't want the people I loved to see me waste away.  I figured that the collision would kill me before the disease did.  And if I couldn't have my friends near me when I died, then at least I wouldn't be so lonely with Natira."


Spock didn't argue the illogic of Leonard's statement.


"But it's all changed now," the doctor continued.  "I'm well.  I'm no longer dying.  We can be together again."


"Yes," Spock agreed, "it's all changed now.  You entered a marriage covenant with Natira.  You are married."  Spock clasped his hands behind his back and stated firmly, "I do not have affairs with married persons."


 "I'm sure Natira and I can easily annul. . ."


"A covenant is a covenant, Doctor," Spock answered.  "And as long as it is in existence, there will be no relationship between us."


"What if I hear from Natira?" Leonard asked.


Spock turned to the doctor suspiciously.  "And how would that be possible?" he asked.


Leonard shifted from foot to foot uneasily.  "I left my communicator with her," he replied sheepishly, "so that she could tell me when they arrived at their new planet."


Spock eyed Leonard.  "You told the captain that you wanted to see the Yonadians disembark at their new home," he stated.  "You want to see Natira again."


Leonard nodded.  "Of course," he said.  "I want to be a witness to an historical event.  Don’t you?"


Spock merely stared.  "You are not interested in annulling your marriage to her," he accused.


"I want to thank her for my cure!" Leonard said.


Spock turned on the doctor.  "I found your cure!" he hissed.  "She would not give permission to look for it!"


Leonard looked at Spock.  "Do you know just how petulant you sound right now?"


Spock actually sneered.  "Get out, McCoy," he grated.


Sadly, Leonard McCoy did just that.


Spock put a hand out to steady himself after the stressful, emotional exchange.  Once m ore, he had allowed himself to live by his nerve endings, but no more.  He would vigorously immerse himself in the Disciplines again, for good this time.  Relationships had proved disastrous for Spock.  They only led to pain and disappointment.  Perhaps what he needed was something more drastic.


"Computer, find all information about the monastery at Gol." 




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