Title:  Kind of Vulcan 

    (thanks, Janet, for letting me bend the rules)         

Author:  Shoshana

Description:  Filk adapted, with extra verses, from “Kind of Woman”     

     from Pippin, music and lyrics by Stephen Schwartz.  Companion

     piece to “Kind of Doctor.”

Pairing:  S/Mc   brief reference to Spock’s misalliance with T’Pring,

     and to T’Pring/Stonn

Rating:  G

Disclaimer:  I do not own Star Trek.  Not a molecule, atom, quark

     or vibrating string of it.  Nor do I own or profit in any way from

     the lyrics of Pippin. Not a stanza, line, word or syllable.

CATHERINE
I`M YOUR AVERAGE ORDINARY KIND OF WOMAN
COMPETENT AND NEAT
MAKING LIFE A TREAT
OTHERS AS NICE
YOU MEET OFTEN I KNOW
AT LEAST ONCE OR TWICE
EVERY DECADE OR SO

I`M YOUR EVERYDAY, CUSTOMARY KIND OF WOMAN
PRACTICAL AS SALT
MODEST TO A FAULT
CONSERVATIVE WITH A BUDGET
LIBERAL WITH A MEAL
JUST YOUR AVERAGE IDEAL

MY TELLING YOU THIS
MAY SEEM SUDDEN AND STRANGE
IT MAY NOT INTEREST YOU MUCH AT ALL RIGHT NOW
BUT THINGS CHANGE
THINGS CHANGE
STILL I`LL UNDERSTAND IF I`M NOT YOUR KIND OF WOMAN
ANYONE CAN MAKE
ONE TERRIBLE MISTAKE
BUT I`VE NO SPECIAL GLAMOUR
NO BAIT I CAN TWIRL
FOR I`M JUST A PLAIN, EVERYDAY
COMMONPLACE, COME-WHAT-MAY
AVERAGE, ORDINARY
WONDERFUL GIRL!

These lyrics are not available for printing.

CATHERINE
I`M YOUR AVERAGE ORDINARY KIND OF WOMAN
COMPETENT AND NEAT
MAKING LIFE A TREAT
OTHERS AS NICE
YOU MEET OFTEN I KNOW
AT LEAST ONCE OR TWICE
EVERY DECADE OR SO

I`M YOUR EVERYDAY, CUSTOMARY KIND OF WOMAN
PRACTICAL AS SALT
MODEST TO A FAULT
CONSERVATIVE WITH A BUDGET
LIBERAL WITH A MEAL
JUST YOUR AVERAGE IDEAL

MY TELLING YOU THIS
MAY SEEM SUDDEN AND STRANGE
IT MAY NOT INTEREST YOU MUCH AT ALL RIGHT NOW
BUT THINGS CHANGE
THINGS CHANGE
STILL I`LL UNDERSTAND IF I`M NOT YOUR KIND OF WOMAN
ANYONE CAN MAKE
ONE TERRIBLE MISTAKE
BUT I`VE NO SPECIAL GLAMOUR
NO BAIT I CAN TWIRL
FOR I`M JUST A PLAIN, EVERYDAY
COMMONPLACE, COME-WHAT-MAY
AVERAGE, ORDINARY
WONDERFUL GIRL!

These lyrics are not available for printing.

CATHERINE
I`M YOUR AVERAGE ORDINARY KIND OF WOMAN
COMPETENT AND NEAT
MAKING LIFE A TREAT
OTHERS AS NICE
YOU MEET OFTEN I KNOW
AT LEAST ONCE OR TWICE
EVERY DECADE OR SO

I`M YOUR EVERYDAY, CUSTOMARY KIND OF WOMAN
PRACTICAL AS SALT
MODEST TO A FAULT
CONSERVATIVE WITH A BUDGET
LIBERAL WITH A MEAL
JUST YOUR AVERAGE IDEAL

MY TELLING YOU THIS
MAY SEEM SUDDEN AND STRANGE
IT MAY NOT INTEREST YOU MUCH AT ALL RIGHT NOW
BUT THINGS CHANGE
THINGS CHANGE
STILL I`LL UNDERSTAND IF I`M NOT YOUR KIND OF WOMAN
ANYONE CAN MAKE
ONE TERRIBLE MISTAKE
BUT I`VE NO SPECIAL GLAMOUR
NO BAIT I CAN TWIRL
FOR I`M JUST A PLAIN, EVERYDAY
COMMONPLACE, COME-WHAT-MAY
AVERAGE, ORDINARY
WONDERFUL GIRL!

These lyrics are not available for printing.

CATHERINE
I`M YOUR AVERAGE ORDINARY KIND OF WOMAN
COMPETENT AND NEAT
MAKING LIFE A TREAT
OTHERS AS NICE
YOU MEET OFTEN I KNOW
AT LEAST ONCE OR TWICE
EVERY DECADE OR SO

I`M YOUR EVERYDAY, CUSTOMARY KIND OF WOMAN
PRACTICAL AS SALT
MODEST TO A FAULT
CONSERVATIVE WITH A BUDGET
LIBERAL WITH A MEAL
JUST YOUR AVERAGE IDEAL

MY TELLING YOU THIS
MAY SEEM SUDDEN AND STRANGE
IT MAY NOT INTEREST YOU MUCH AT ALL RIGHT NOW
BUT THINGS CHANGE
THINGS CHANGE
STILL I`LL UNDERSTAND IF I`M NOT YOUR KIND OF WOMAN
ANYONE CAN MAKE
ONE TERRIBLE MISTAKE
BUT I`VE NO SPECIAL GLAMOUR
NO BAIT I CAN TWIRL
FOR I`M JUST A PLAIN, EVERYDAY
COMMONPLACE, COME-WHAT-MAY
AVERAGE, ORDINARY
WONDERFUL GIRL!

These lyrics are not available for printing.

I’m your average, ordinary kind of Vulcan

Logical and neat

I never touch meat

Others as precise

You meet often I know

At least once or twice

Every century or so

I’m your typical, customary kind of Vulcan

My room is quite hot

I checkmate a lot

Numbers I crunch

Ship’s computers I fix

Disdain every hunch

Meditate for my kicks

I’m your commonplace, ordinary kind of Vulcan

Even with T’Pau

I raise my eyebrow

Notably strong                         

I’m known never to laugh         

I seldom am wrong                 

Though I’m human by half       

I’m your everyday, customary kind of Vulcan

My behavior’s bizarre

Suffering Pon Farr

Needing to mate

I sought Lady T’Pring

The urge did abate

She chose Stonn for a fling

I’m your regular, ordinary kind of Vulcan

Too often alone

I’m not made of stone

Born of mixed race

My heart bypassed my chest                  

It’s in the right place

Only you haven’t guessed 

I’m your usual, customary kind of Vulcan

I pilot shuttles

Make dry rebuttals

Though I am curt

I feel heartfelt concern

Not least when you’re hurt

Maybe one day you’ll learn   

I’m your hardly extraordinary kind of Vulcan

I’m a polymath

And touch telepath

Though generous with my katra  

I hide what I feel                       

Just your average ideal

My telling you this

May seem sudden and strange

It may not interest you much at all right now

But things change

Things change

Still I’ll understand if I’m not your kind of Vulcan

Any Doctor can make

One terrible mistake

I’ve no human defects

I never would lie

For I’m just a plain, pointed-eared

Hybrid bioengineered

Vulcanized, fascinating 

Green-blooded guy! 

                               S.