Lonely Night

Title: Lonely Night

Author: Acidqueen <a.q @ gmx.de>

Series: TOS

Code: Spock/McCoy, McCoy POV

Rating: R


For Spiced Peaches III, holiday edition. Thanks to K'Chaps for the beta!




I ache, and all because of you.


Not that you know, nor that you ever will.


I lie here, in the semi-darkness of the room, hunting my dreams - or maybe I'm the hunted, haunted one?


You wouldn't want to know what my hands do, thinking of you. What I wish for, hope for, in the illogicality you often accuse me of.


You wouldn't want to know.


And how should I ever tell you that I crave your touch, hunger for your lips on mine?


All you'll ever get of me will be the smoke screen of little stings and insults, because we'll both be better off this way.


You wouldn't want to have my hands on you, doing what I long to do. Wouldn't welcome my body pressed on yours, my mouth going down on you, savoring all of you.


If I told you tonight, I can imagine your reaction all too well. How your gaze would shift, averting mine. Or an eyebrow, climbing, before you say words as unforgivable as mine, cutting into my deepest sorrows, accusing me of being drunk on Christmas eggnog, or just being out of my mind.


And maybe I am. Maybe I've been out of my mind for a long time. God,

it hurts to want you like this. So much. Too much. Touch me, do it,

don't keep away, touch me, caress me, oh yes, so good, so good, don't

stop, never...never.



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