Title:  Look Before You Leap

Author:  Ster Julie

Codes:  S, Mc; written for Spiced Peaches

Rating:  G

Part 1 of 1

Summary:  McCoy and Spock reflect on taking a leap of faith.

A/N:  I wanted to write a story using as many synonyms for “look” as I could.  I count 7.

—ooOoo—

I watch you laying there, asleep or comatose or in one of those blasted healing trances.  It doesn’t matter.  All that matters is that you get better.  We all need you back.  I need you back.

I see you twitch at my gasp.  I didn’t mean to disturb you.  It’s just … I’ve never admitted that before.

I look at your features.  What once seemed so foreign, so – don’t laugh – alien to me has become so familiar, so dear … I see now that … that I love …

Oh, I’ve made you twitch again.  I’m sorry.  You deserve your rest. 

Who would have thought that someone like me could fall for someone like you?  But then again, what’s not to love?  You are exotically handsome, gentle when you need to be, yet with a tremendous strength always at the ready.  Even after the terrible things I have said to you, the names I have called you, you never have an unkind word for me. 

I wish I have the courage to tell you how I feel.  Perhaps someday I’ll take that leap of faith and tell you.

—

I sense you sitting there, keeping watch while I am in a healing trance.  Illogical as it may be, I find comfort in knowing that you are once again keeping watch over me.  I know that I am safe under your guise, and that I will heal.  I need to heal for the good of the ship.  I need to heal for you.

I hear you gasp.  What has disturbed you so?

I imagine your features as you sit there – your furrowed brow, you concerned gaze.  I remember the first time I ever woke in Sickbay to see you bending over me.  When I saw your blue eyes I thought you were – don’t laugh – my mother.  I may have even called you ko-mekh.  You features have now become so familiar, I know I will not make that error again.

You have gasped again.  What disturbs you?  I will waken soon.  Fret not.

Who would have thought that someone who professes to eschew emotions could fall for someone like you?  But why not?  I have observed that you are compassionate to a fault.  You are more that aesthetically pleasing, strong yet gentle, and ferociously protective of those in your care – which is evident in thr passionate words you hurl my way.  You may profess that you are not a psychiatrist, but I recognize your use of “reverse psychology” on me.  And over all this, I find myself drawn to you because I … feel … safe in your presence.  You call out the best in me, as I trust I do in you.  Yes, Leonard McCoy, I am drawn to you.

I wish I have the courage to tell you how I feel.  Perhaps someday I will be able to take that leap and tell you.

END