My Fair Doctor

                                                MY FAIR DOCTOR

By Mary Barnes

Series: TOS

Pairings: S/Mc

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount/Viacom. My Fair Lady belongs to Lerner and Loewe. I own this story and make no profit from it; it is for entertainment purposes only.

Author’s Notes: This story is loosely based on the musical, My Fair Lady. 


 Scene I:

   This opens at a time before McCoy had met Kirk or Spock.  Soon they will meet in different

    paths and form opinions about each other.

   McCoy had just finished a grueling, nonstop 48 hour shift at one of Star Fleet’s top Trauma ER centers.  After he grabs a quick breakfast, he heads over to the Federation Conference Center.

  McCoy is to present his surgical techniques and research results to Star Fleet physicians at a medical conference.  By the end of his lectures, he is totally wiped out.  Of course there are the irritating questions that followed by the usual assholes that question his techniques and his research findings.  These assholes and supposedly ‘colleagues’ follow him out of the lecture room and into the hallway pushing through the other attendants of other scientific lectures.  As McCoy tries to push past his pursuers, he trips.  Down he falls to the floor and his papers and PADD scatter and are trampled on.


“Dammit, dammit, dammit!!!”  McCoy yells.  His critics leave him where he is which only fuels his anger.  Several more colorful utterances fall from his lips, causing many to look shocked at his words while others laugh in sympathy.  As he tries to collect his possessions, he is blocking the flow in the hallway.  Behind him two Vulcan scientists are halted by the sprawled cursing human.  Two pairs of slanted eyebrows rise at the scene before their feet.  These distinguished scientists are Commander Spock of the Star Ship ENTERSPRISE and Dr. T’Sen, a Vulcan astrophysicist.


   “Look at him a prisoner of his emotion

    Another expression of human commotion.

   Though his surgical skills are difficult to obtain

   Are his slow speech and accent due to a slow brain?”



   “Now wait just a damned minute!”



     “Another example of uncultured verse

      It is illogical that time can be cursed.”

Turning to T’Sen

     “Why can’t the Earthlings teach their humans how to think?

     To connect logic and thought there has to be a link

     As you note his actions are giving us a clue

                                                          Page 2

His lessons in logic are way overdue!”


The Vulcans step over the fuming human and continue on their way.


After a brief nap and shower, McCoy returns to the trauma center.  He sits at his desk and is reviewing charts and lab data of his patients.  His mind wonders back to the embarrassing events of the morning, but more so to the haughty Vulcans.  McCoy loves his work as a doctor but hates the futility of trying to get the other staff to be as meticulous and careful as he is.

He needs a new job off of this star base.  All he wants is…..




“All I want is a job somewhere

Where they deliver my kind of care

With time for research to spare


Oh, wouldn’t it be wonderful?


Lots of equipment at my demand

Lots of nurses to lend a hand

And patients who do as I command


Oh, wouldn’t it be wonderful?


(McCoy leaves his office and goes on his rounds to see his patients)

Oh, how great it would be to have all that I want and need

I would have the staff and labs helping me to succeed


(He rubs his aching neck and lower back)

Someone’s rubbin’ this back of mine

With fingers that are warm, long and fine

To be cared for would be divine


Oh, wouldn’t it be wonderful?



He stops at the bed of his favorite patient Jim Kirk, who heard some of the wishes of this gifted doctor.

Capt. Jim Kirk:


“You know, Doc, I could use a talented doctor like you on the Enterprise.”



                                                                 Page 3

Scene II


McCoy joins the crew of the Enterprise and becomes the CMO.  He runs a meticulous Sick Bay.

He has the best head nurse, Christine Chapel, and has his pick of the residents and interns.

Though his temper is legendary, his skills have yet to be matched.  Jim Kirk wouldn’t have chosen

anything less for a CMO, and having him as a close friend was icing on the cake.

However, there was a change in the dynamics of Kirk’s friends.  He had a strong friendship with Spock, also. 

Spock was not close to many of the crew.  His friendship with Kirk was a satisfactory one but there were times when Kirk, being a normal human male, would disappear on shore leave with one of his ‘conquests’.  This behavior started before McCoy came on board, but McCoy would join him sometimes.

Spock was getting use to the irascible, emotional doctor.  McCoy, in fact, was quite brilliant and could provide a diversionary talk or argument.  Though their arguments were sometimes the talk of the ship, the fact that someone could intellectually and bravely argue with Spock was something to be admired.  Spock had to admit this to himself at times, not that he would indicate this to McCoy.  A new friendship was developing for Spock with McCoy.  However, as oil and water tend to not mix well.  Having two human friends was exasperating for Spock.

Kirk would ask for his input or advice and then do something totally different.  When McCoy was in one of his moods, he could home in on some of Spock’s insecurities with the precision of the surgeon that he was.

Spock was contemplating this in his quarters one afternoon.  Kirk was with a new crewman, a voluptuous redhead from Engineering.   He cancelled his chess game with Spock for that evening.  McCoy had reacted to something that Spock had said and stormed off in a huff.

Spock did not understand this behavior.  His mother seemed to adapt to the Vulcan way of life quite well.  He prided himself on his Vulcan heritage; there were many benefits of having a Vulcan as a friend and especially as the second in command.  Why are these humans so difficult!



“I’m a logical Vulcan

One who desires nothing more to have the peace of quiet thought

To live the life he likes and do precisely what he wants

A logical Vulcan am I

Of no eccentric whim

Who likes to live his life, free of strife

Doing exactly whatever is right for him

A logical Vulcan am I


Let a human in your life and your serenity is ending

He’ll argue anything

From Vulcans to human beings

Then go to fight the battle with all that his emotions bring                                           


Page 4



A pensive Vulcan am I

Of philosophical joys, who likes to meditate, contemplate

Far from humanities maddening inhuman noise

A pensive Vulcan am I

Who enjoys a skilled game of chess or educated talk

To discuss matters of science rather than a crewman’s sexy walk

A pensive Vulcan am I

Of a disciplined mind, who’s always kind

I’m a benevolent officer that is very hard to find

A pensive Vulcan am I


Let a human I your life

And your serenity has no chance

He’ll beg for my advice

My reply will be concise

He’ll listen very nice then

Go and do precisely what he wants.


A pedantic Vulcan am I

Who desires intelligent conversation with others of like mind

Though it’s rare, some of these others are of human kind

To talk of science, the universe

Or whatever topic we care to converse

A pedantic Vulcan am I


Let a human in your life

And all logical thought is scorned

The outflow of emotion

The illogical verbal commotion

Will overwhelm any perfect notion

Of talking will be killed by dramatic emotion


(Spock lets out a deep sigh)

I will never let a human in my life.







                                                                  Page 5

Scene III

After the near death experience at the alien gunfight at the OK corral, McCoy finds himself awed by

what had transpired.  Spock had saved their lives (with exception of Chekov).  The gentle touch on his face from Spock’s warm fingers and the sound of Spock’s deep assuring voice in his mind continued to echo through McCoy’s thoughts.  He wasn’t anxious, in fact he was calm; but McCoy found it hard to go to sleep.  He finally gave up and went to his office.  Spock’s presence followed him there as well.  Before he knew it, McCoy had stayed awake all night.



To bed, to bed, I didn’t go to bed

I hear his voice and his touch I still feel

Sleep, sleep I didn’t sleep last night

Spock kept all of the bullets from being real.


I was entranced all night

I was entranced all night

I‘ve never felt this way before

His gentle touch was warm

And he kept me from harm

I won’t fear his meld any more


I’ll never know what made the meld less frightening

While all at once my fears took flight


I only know when he

Began to meld with me

I was entranced, entranced,

Entranced all night.


Chapel walks in his office and is astonished by his appearance



It’s after five, Doctor

You look half alive, Doctor, you should be in bed


McCoy leaves the sick Bay and heads to his quarters:


I was entranced all night

I was entranced all night

I’ve never felt this way before

His gentle touch was warm

And he kept me from harm

I won’t fear his meld any more.

                                                                  Page 6

 I’ll never know what made the meld less frightening

Why all at once my fears took flight


I only know when he

Began to meld with me

I was entranced, entranced

Entranced all night.


McCoy returns to his cabin and has one of the most restful sleeps he has ever had.




Scene IV


McCoy viewed Spock from a totally different perspective now.  The entire Enterprise crew noticed a difference between the First Officer and the CMO.  Oh, there were still the ‘debates’, as they would call them, but they were less dramatic and polarized.  Spock would visit McCoy in Sick Bay more frequently and it seemed that McCoy was now perched on the right side of Kirk’s command chair so he could converse with Spock.  They would have breakfast together and McCoy would join Kirk and Spock for a chess game, where he would chat or read quietly.  Kirk was very pleased with the change in his friend’s friendship.  He did not miss the days of the heated arguments when he stood between them and felt as though he was caught in a force field.


However, this is usually when a change comes from those pesky unseen variables.  This particular variable came in the form of a surgical resident who was assigned (actually begged) to the Enterprise for her residency.  Eleanor Riley was a tall brunette with vivid green eyes.  She was born on Earth and she grew up in Virginia.  Eleanor carried herself with a stiff professional air, she was stunningly beautiful (of which she was very much aware) and she flaunted her academic prowess.  Christine Chapel took an immediate dislike to this resident.  She knew this type was always the one who would faint during surgery, make quick and bad decisions and be exceptional rude and condescending to the staff.   What alarmed Chapel was the way Eleanor looked at McCoy; it was the expression of a very hungry mountain lion.  Ms. Riley would stare into McCoy’s blue eyes then scan his lean body and tight gluts.  In the days following, Eleanor’s Virginian accent oozed out more and the dark hair was loose and curly.  If she had a cat’s tail, it would be swishing this way and that, an indication that she was about to pounce on her prey.

McCoy was oblivious to her obvious attempts to get his attention.  He was flattered that she had out maneuvered a lot of residents to get this assignment and the fact she was ‘southern’ didn’t hurt either.  Eleanor followed McCoy around like a bee, buzzing around him and making clear to everyone else she would sting anyone who would try to interfere.  Chapel would let out a moan when Eleanor would bring in coffee for McCoy every morning with a giggle and a twist of her hair, stand very close to McCoy during surgery, repeat everything he said like a Mockingbird


                                                                  Page 7

       and worst of all to rub his back and shoulders when he seemed tired.  This puzzled Chapel; McCoy would usually engage in playful flirting or tell the person to get the hell out of his space.

But McCoy seemed distracted and treated her like a daughter.  What the hell was wrong with him?

On several occasions, Chapel did have to stifle a laugh when Eleanor would come up with the wrong diagnosis or treatment.  The stunned disappointed look on McCoy’s face was well worth putting up with her.  McCoy appeared to be more distracted after visits from Spock.

Apparently, Eleanor noticed this also.  When Spock would stop by to talk to McCoy, she would direct him away from the doctor informing him that McCoy was too busy or that she needed McCoy close by in case she needed him.

Being the perfect gentleman he was, Spock would quietly leave but as he left Christine noticed that he gave Eleanor a look that said he had plenty of experience dealing with Sehlats.  But when McCoy would seek out Spock’s company, Chapel noticed an obsessed desperation on Eleanor’s face.


One afternoon, Eleanor happened to be walking along the officer’ quarters deck and she spotted McCoy’s door, 3F-127.  She leaned against the wall and mused…



“I have often walked on this deck before

But the deck remained beneath my feet before

All at once am I quite very shy

Knowing I’m on the deck where you (McCoy) live

I wonder if he likes wine and Italian food?

Does he sleep in shorts or (giggle) in the nude?

Could I get my name next to his on his door?

I’d love to be on the deck where he lives.


And oh, the towering feeling

Just to know somehow he is near

The most anticipating feeling

That any second he could suddenly appear.


Crewmen stop and stare they won’t deter me

For there’s nowhere else on the ship that I would rather be

I have far less time to get what is mine

Staying here on the deck where he lives.”



As Spock and McCoy spend more time with each other their needs began to follow the course of their heritage.  McCoy liked to cuddle, he was definitely a tactile person and did not see the need to follow the ritualistic stages of a relationship.  Spock was totally immersed in the logic of a relationship.  There were stages to follow that would indicate what was the next proper step.


                                                                Page 8

This did not cause an end to their friendship but it put a frustrating pause as where they would go next.

One evening after a disastrous mission, McCoy and his staff worked nonstop in surgery, monitoring                                                               

vital signs and labs, and hovering around the bedsides of the most critical cases.  Of course Kirk was one of those cases and McCoy kept Kirk from death’s door once again.  Spock would come and check on the Captain’s condition frequently, his demeanor stiff and shielded.  McCoy’s emotions were raw, he was exhausted and he needed some type of comfort.  It would not be from Spock.  McCoy went to his office and sat at his desk after everyone was stable, except for two security guards he could not save.  He poured himself a glass of bourbon and tossed it down and he followed that with three other glasses.  This opened the gates of his pent up emotions and needs and the warm hands massaging his neck and shoulders were the perfect remedy for the way he felt.  Those gentle fingers smoothed his hair and lifted his head to meet warm lips.  He surrendered to Eleanor’s touch.

He awoke the next morning in his quarters, in his bed and in the nude (he always wore briefs to sleep in) and the sound of a feminine voice singing in his bathroom.  When Eleanor came out of the bathroom with a victorious strut, McCoy knew he had made a big mistake.    It did not take long for the news of this little fling to make it to the top ten best rumors of the week.  McCoy was mortified, Eleanor preened herself after her successful hunt and Spock kept to himself.

Chapel threatened to kick McCoy’s butt to the next galaxy but he informed her that he had already done that to himself.  He asked her if she wanted to see the bruises, she shook her head, she told him there wasn’t enough space on his skinny butt for more bruises.  McCoy talked with Kirk about what to do.

 Kirk said “Take a leave of absence and get her off the ship.  She’ll get bored and go off with some other poor soul.  All of this will blow over and then come back.  I know Spock’s missing you.”


McCoy then headed to Spock’s quarters and was allowed in.  The lighting was low and Spock was sitting on his meditation mat, his head bowed, McCoy could not see his face. 

“Spock, I’m sorry about what happened with Eleanor.”  McCoy said softly.

Still not raising his head or looking at McCoy, “You are free to see whomever you please, Doctor.”

Spock replied.

“Oh, it’s back to ‘Doctor’ now is it?”  McCoy said angrily, “Spock, look at me!”

“I am attempting to meditate, Doctor.  What specifically is bothering you?”  Spock said as he turned to face McCoy.

McCoy was in hell; he had Eleanor all over him not giving him room to breathe and Spock giving him a distant analytical sterile stare.

“I’m in hell, Spock!” McCoy shouted.

“To be in a mythological domain aboard this ship is illogical.”  Spock said calmly.



“Logic, logic.  I’m so sick of logic!

I’m sick of clingy humans, too.

Emotional kudzu from her and logic from you.

If you want my thoughts just read my lips

                                                              Page 9

(McCoy cont)

 If you want this, show me!

Don’t quote facts of alien lust

If my love is a must, show me!

Here we are together in the middle of the night

Don’t meditate, just hold me tight.

Anyone who’s ever been in love will tell you that,

Now get up off that damned mat!

Haven’t your fingers longed for my touch

Don’t say how much, show me!


Never do I ever want to hear another word

That I’m being very emotional and absurd

Here we are together in what ought to be a dream

Call me illogical once more and I’ll scream!


Haven’t your arms longed to embrace

Please don’t hide your face, show me!

Show me…show me now!”


Spock did not know how to respond.  The anger in McCoy’s face turned to sorrow and tears filled his eyes.  McCoy left without saying another word.


The next morning, Spock had his breakfast at Kirk’s bedside.  Kirk, as usual, was making a good recovery.  Spock noticed that the atmosphere in Sick Bay was different.  Chapel was pale and silent, her mouth set in a firm line.  She muttered a soft ‘good morning’ to Spock and left quickly.  Spock looked around for McCoy; he did not see him or Eleanor for that matter.


“Have you seen Dr. McCoy, this morning, Jim?” Spock asked.

Kirk cleared his throat, “Bones left this morning with Ms. Riley and some of the other medical staff

to join a medical mission for a while.”

“For a while, Jim?”  Spock asked.

“Yes, for several months.  His decision was a sudden one, I know.”  Kirk said as he studied Spock’s face.  “At least it will be quieter here for a while.”

Spock straitened, “Yes, it will be quieter.”


Later that evening Spock attempted to meditate.  His thoughts kept returning to the sorrow in McCoy’s face.  Several months he would be gone.  Spock checked out the mission’s location,

a primitive planet in desperate need of medical care.  

The weeks that followed were routine and quiet.  Kirk seemed to miss McCoy as much as Spock.

Sick Bay all but had a funeral service for McCoy, his presence was greatly missed.  The medical staff

blamed his departure on Eleanor.


                                                       Page 10

Spock stopped by McCoy’s office and sat down at his desk.  He touched the surface of the desk and the arms of the chair illogically to obtain any trace of McCoy.




“I’ve grown accustom to his face

He almost made the day begin

I’ve grown accustom to his drawls

The way that lock of hair that falls

His smiles, his scowl

His laughter and his temper most foul

Are second nature to me now

Like breathing out and breathing in

I was serenely independent and content before me met

Surely I could be that way again and yet

I’ve grown accustom to his look

Accustom to his voice

Accustom to his face.


“Off on a medical mission with Ms. Riley, an illogical choice indeed.

What did he call her, the ’kudzu queen’?  Perhaps now he will see that

pure, raw emotionalism is hard to endure.


“His excitement of new discoveries

His skill in surgery, the miraculous recoveries

His eyes of the clearest blue

His strong emotions are true

I’ve grown accustom to his walk

Accustom to his voice

Accustom to his face.”


Scene V

It was two days later that the Enterprise learned of a natural disaster that had hit the medical camp

at which McCoy was stationed.  When they reached orbit and took the Galileo craft to the surface, they were shocked by what they found.  The torrential rains had caused a mud slide to tear through the medical camp.  Many of the natives had been killed.  Eleanor had been rescued by one of the doctors and was now glued to his side.  Kirk and Spock found McCoy on a cot in one of the patient shelters.  He had suffered a head wound from a tree trunk plowing through the camp.  His color was extremely pale, it made his dark eyelashes stand out more.

“Bones?” Kirk said gently touching his friend’s arm.  “He’s so cold to the touch, Spock.”

Spock gingerly touched McCoy’s hand, it was cold but what concerned him was that he could not sense McCoy through the touch.  He reached up and spread his fingers and placed them in the meld positions on McCoy’s face.

                                                                  Page 11


Spock’s mind searched in the darkness of McCoy’s mind for any trace of his friend.  He encountered a collage of scattered memories but there was something blocking his progress.  It was a feeling of overwhelming sorrow and self hatred and this was made stronger by the pain from the injury.  McCoy was allowing the blow to his head as punishment for his unfortunate affair with Eleanor.  He was surprised to feel the deep regret the doctor had at the loss of their relationship, McCoy was grieving.  Spock allowed his shields to lower and sent McCoy his own thoughts of regret and loss but also his acknowledgement of the feelings that he had for the doctor.  There was a gradual change in McCoy’s mind, a feeling of hope and recognition of Spock’s presence.  Spock moved his fingers from the meld position to comb his fingers through McCoy’s hair and then cup the side of his face, knowing the warmth of his touch would comfort McCoy.

  There was a deep sigh from McCoy, and then the blue eyes opened and looked at Spock.  His brows knit in hard concentration, then he looked at Kirk and a smile came to his lips.  McCoy looked back at Spock.

“Spock, you have no idea what your meld does to me.”  McCoy said weakly.

“And what would that be, Doctor?”  Spock replied.

“You enchant me.”  McCoy said with a sigh.

Kirk let out a relieved laugh, “Let’s take Bones home, Spock.”

Spock wrapped the blanket on McCoy’s bed around him and picked him up gently.  McCoy’s head rested on the curve of Spock’s neck and shoulder.

“Leonard, when we get arrive back on board the Enterprise; you have to inform me how I enchant you.”  Spock said.

“Spock just accept it as a logical, emotional reaction.”  McCoy murmured.

“I find that fascinating.”  Spock said as he drew the doctor into a true embrace and carried him aboard the shuttle.



                                                         The End



Return to Main Page