Trio in Pon Farr
Disclaimer: The usual. Paramount owns these folks; they just let me
play with them.
Summary: The first pon farr after the fal tor pan.
Feedback: Yes, please. I really appreciate it.
Notes: Not beta'ed. Hate the title, so let me know if you have a
Leonard McCoy peered up over Spock's bare shoulder to try to look at
the ceiling. He was having a hard time focusing on the acoustical
panels. Pinned on his back, on top of his own desk, robe opened to
reveal his naked and somewhat bruised body, Leonard was trying to
remain conscious and that was getting harder and harder to do.
Suddenly, he began to chuckle out loud.
Spock didn't react to that at all. His thrusts remained fast, hard,
and unyielding. His mouth continued to suck, no longer tenderly,
along Leonard's neck; his arms holding Leonard to the desk and acting
as leverage for thrusting into his mate.
Leonard's laughter didn't even earn him a raised eyebrow from
Spock. //Gawd, a hickey at my age. What's the Vulcan word for
hickey, sweetheart?// He didn't get any response. But he didn't
expect to. Spock hadn't said much to him in the last five hours or
so. Spock wasn't wasting any energy. Every fiber of his being was
focused on the twin tasks of quenching the burning need of pon farr
and not killing Leonard in the process. The sheen on Spock's skin a
visible sign of the effort. Leonard's labored breathing a sign of his.
Neither knew what to expect this time. They had speculated and
theorized, but Spock's metabolism had always been unpredictable given
his human half and the aborted bond with T'Pring. This time they had
the unknown factor of what the death, rebirth and refusion would do
to his cycle.
But Leonard knew now. Instead of the slow build to raging fire to
burn out of before, Spock had had very little warning. There was no
way they were ever going to make it to Vulcan or to their home on
Earth. So, despite Spock's protests and chagrin, Leonard had been
the logical one--going to Jim to say he and Spock were taking an
indefinite leave and locking themselves in their cabin.
Jim had looked uncomfortable. He had always been supportive of the
union of his friends, but his embarrassment of knowledge about their
sex life and his apprehension from the memory of Spock's physical
strength and lack of mental control during pon farr had him worried.
"Bones, I know this isn't the first time you've been through this,
but it hasn't been that long since the last time, has it?""
"No, but that seven year cycle is an average not an absolute."
"Uh, Bones . . ."
"We'll be all right, Jim. As you've said we've been through this
The Captain merely nodded and wished them luck, but he didn't look
pleased that's for sure. Nothing Jim liked less than not being able
to control a situation. And this situation left him completely out
in the cold--not only couldn't he do anything, he couldn't rely on
Spock and McCoy to be available to him if he needed them. No, Jim
Kirk was not a happy man when Leonard left his office. Leonard hoped
that the "routine" mapping mission they were currently on would for
once live up to its billing.
Leonard's second stop had been to see Scotty, to have the engineer
override the water limit on the shower, change the door lock override
to himself and Scotty, and to make the communication system mostly
out-going only from the cabin. Scotty, bless him, had asked no
questions and had completed the tasks himself in minutes. Leonard and
Spock could make contact with the others if needed, but only Scotty
would be able to make contact with them. And that was only for two
reasons: evacuation of the ship and a medical emergency involving
senior staff that his ACMO couldn't handle.
It was the second time in his life Leonard had put his Hippocratic
oath second to anything. But having just gotten Spock back a few
months ago, he was comfortable with it. He was confident in his
ACMO, and if an emergency arose that A-Strida couldn't handle or if
the ship were being evacuated, he would sedate Spock long enough to
handle the situation. He didn't realize at the time that he might not
be in any condition to actually help.
That was three days ago. The first day, Spock resisted on his own.
But the struggle had been clear and frightening. The strength and
speed of the on-set had prompted Spock to persuade Leonard to stock
up on medical supplies in their cabin and to let him place a
transmitter under Leonard's left shoulder blade. Only the ACMO would
monitor the signal, but if Leonard's life signs went into the danger
zone she would tell Scotty who would contact Len. If no contact was
made the lock would be overridden and Leonard would receive medical
attention. If Scotty hadn't figured out what was going on before,
this certainly clued him in. But again, the engineer had only
Leonard was not happy about the transmitter, but he couldn't deny
Spock's fear or the intensity of the burning. Spock's shields were
slipping at an alarming rate and Leonard could feel it himself. They
wouldn't have needed the precaution at their Vulcan or Terra home,
but here on the ship without a healer or attendant nearby, they had
to rely on other measures. And frankly, their union was already a
footnote in Starfleet history; Leonard didn't want to add a second
one with the headline "Vulcan kills Human mate with Pon Farr" or
worse yet, "Doc dies from too much of a good thing." He wondered
about a sub-dermal transmitter for Spock, but only Leonard would be
able to decipher the readings and he had a med-scanner and tricorder
in the cabin anyway.
The second day, Leonard had managed to slow Spock's downward spiral
of control with music, natural sedatives from herbal teas, hot
showers, and meditating with him. The sex had been frequent, as was
to be expected, but it had still been pleasant and mutually
satisfying. They were still communicating verbally and mentally, as
well as physically.
But by this morning, nothing was working. Spock was primal Vulcan
and virtually unrecognizable to his human mate. The physical
resemblance was there, of course, but the touch of mind and body was
that of a stranger. Leonard was still occasionally reaching through
the link to Spock, but he found himself drawn in faster and father
than he was used to. Worse still was the fact that it was getting
harder and harder for him to withdraw from the link. In their
previous experience, Leonard had been able to control or at least
influence the link, but this time Leonard was not deflecting the plak
tow, he was reflecting it, multiplying it. He had to drastically
limit his mental contact with Spock. He knew the mental contact was
vital but he feared the cycle would become perpetual and they would
remain beyond their physical and mental endurance. The balance of
mind and body, the physical exertion and the mental exhaustion of
shielding against Spock and trying to reach him at the same time were
taking its toll. If Spock realized any of this, Leonard could no
longer tell. More than once he bemoaned the fact that all of this
was supposed to get easier as they got older.
Leonard closed his eyes and tried taking a deep breath, but given
that Spock was holding him down and that his legs weren't bearing any
of the weight being wrapped around Spock's back, breathing was
difficult too. Leonard couldn't get his eyes to focus, couldn't get
his thoughts in line either. Leonard chuckled some more, //yep, I
now know what it's like to be fucked senseless.// Moments later,
Leonard passed out.
*Mr. Scott. Sickbay to Mr. Scott*
Scotty, who had been dining with Uhura, walked to the intercom,
hoping to look unconcerned. "Scott here, Doctor. What kin ay do for
*Mr. Scott, meet me at Doctor McCoy's cabin, please.*
He lowered his voice, "Are ye sure, lassie. The doctor indicated
that they were not to be disturbed."
*I know Mr. Scott, and we won't unless necessary, but I want to be
close just in case. I'll explain it to you there.*
"On my way, doctor." Scotty cut the link, gestured to Uhura to
continue dinner and strolled out of the mess hall. Turning the
corner, he began to sprint.
The doctor was waiting for him when he arrived outside his friends'
"Mr. Scott, how much do you know about what's going on?"
He looked down at her. Considering she was barely regulation height,
he had no choice, but her gaze up at him clearly revealed her
worry. "I have my suspicions, but I dinna need any more of a reason
to comply with the Doctor's request than that it was comin' from him."
She nodded briefly and then sighed. "Leonard's vitals have been all
over the place, Mr. Scott. This isn't unexpected, but there has--up
until now--always been a leveling off period. Seventeen minutes ago
everything spiked in the wrong direction and then stayed there. I
can't tell if he is injured or not. Frankly that wouldn't be
uncommon. Given a Vulcan-Human bonding, you could almost bet on some
minor injury. Leonard is alive, but I think he's unconscious. And I
have no idea why--if it's a head injury--" She couldn't complete
that thought, but she added another serious one, "And a Vulcan with
no outlet is a danger to himself as well. I need you to try to reach
Any hesitation Scotty felt dissipated quickly at the thought of
Leonard or Spock being in danger. He pulled his communicator from
his vest pocket and set it accordingly. "Scott to McCoy. Scott to
McCoy. Come in, doctor." He counted to five and tried
again, "Leonard? Leonard, please respond." Finally, Scott tried a
different track, "Scott to Mr. Spock. Come in Mr. Spock."
"I think we have a problem," A-Strida complained pinching the ridges
between her eyes.
"All right, doctor, I'll override the lock." Scotty pressed the
necessary code on the panel next to the door, but before going in he
turned to block the doctor. "You stay here until I check things out."
"Mr. Scott, Dr. McCoy and Mr. Spock may . . ."
"Doctor," he cut her off, "Leonard gave me authority to make contact
and he trusted me to make the right call. This is between them and
that's the way it's going to stay if I can help it. Let me assess
the situation; I'll call you if I need you. Besides if this is as
dangerous as you indicate, we can't risk you and Leonard both."
She scowled, but backed away. "Can you read this?" She held her
"Aye, I kin."
"Okay, take it and this." She held up a dual chamber hypo
spray. "Blue is a sedative for Spock; clear is a stimulant to revive
Leonard, and don't skimp on the blue. If you're not back in five,
Scotty palmed the panel and went in. "Dear God in Himmel," he
surveyed the room. Even in the low illumination the destruction was
evident--furniture overturned, cushions ripped, the carpet scorched
where the fire safety system had been activated by the overturned
meditation pot. The heat of the cabin and his own anxiety forced him
to wipe his forehead with the back of his sleeve. His attention was
drawn to the sounds coming from behind the twisted sleeping
partition. He held the hypo carefully and made his way calling
softly for a 10% increase in the lights.
"Oh Spock." There on the bed was Spock, naked, huddled in the corner
holding Len fiercely in his arms. Spock was rocking him, making low
humming sounds over and over with each rocking motion. What almost
brought Scotty to his knees were the tears running down Spock's face.
Scotty gathered himself quickly and took a brief reading of Len's
vital signs. Scotty couldn't see any physical injuries because of
Len's robe. He appeared unconscious but not in any apparent
danger. "It'll be all right, Spock. I'll take care of ye both." As
he approached them, Spock held Leonard even tighter, gathering him up
as if to carry him and make some escape. Scotty began a litany to
diffuse the situation: "It's all right, Spock. No one is gonna hurt
ye, man. No one is gonna hurt Len either. But I need to check on
him, see? Len shouldn't be out of it this way and you need him well,
right? So let me help ye both."
He slowed his approach and softened his voice, but every movement
closer only agitated Spock more. Scotty was afraid Len would be
crushed by the grip Spock had on him. Scotty palmed the hypo,
switched it to full force blue, and continued approaching. "Spock, I
need to help Len. You don't want to hurt him do you? Why don't you
put him down?"
Well that certainly halted Scotty. He didn't move any closer but
tried again. "Leonard needs help, Spock."
"I know that, Spock. Just let me help him."
Scotty knew he was running out of time, and if he didn't do something
A-Strida was sure to have security busting through the door. "Spock,
do ye know who I am?"
Spock's only response was to turn slightly away from Scotty,
protecting Len more, and pulling Len's robe tighter around him.
"Ach, this is getting me no where." Scotty turned and left the
sleeping area to return to the door. "Doctor, you can return to
sickbay. I've got it under control."
"Len is all right? He's awake?"
Okay, bending the truth was one thing, but out right lying to a
fellow officer was another. "No. Not yet."
"Then you don't have it under control," she spat flattening her ears
back in anger. A-Strida moved to get passed him and he physically
"Ye not be goin' in there, lass."
"No." Leonard and Spock were the two most private people Scotty knew
and he was going to make sure this stayed private. Doctor or no
doctor. "No, ma'am. Wait here if ye must, but ye don't come in.
I'll either bring McCoy out myself or I'll send him out to you."
As a doctor, A-Strida was concerned; as a person, she was affronted,
and as a Starfleet officer she was out-ranked. Having given Scotty
her medscanner she couldn't prove Len's condition and use her medical
authority to get in. And she knew Scotty knew that. "Mr. Scott, I
will report this."
"As is your right."
Begrudgingly, she slumped against the wall opposite the door. "I'll
wait here. Don't do anything stupid and get yourself hurt in the
Scotty smiled and stepped back to let the door slide shut. He hit
the privacy lock and called for another 15% increase in the lights
and returned to the edge of the sleeping area. 'Well, here goes,' he
thought. He looked at Spock still holding Len, clutching Len's head
to his shoulder. "Mr. Spock. Put Dr. McCoy down."
The raised eyebrow would have been comical if not for the low growl
that accompanied it.
"Mr. Spock, that's an order."
Nothing. Very well, time to try something else. "Mr. Spock, the
doctor is needed in Sickbay. You must let him go."
Spock shifted his gaze from Scotty to Len. "No." A whisper this
time, but no less menacing.
"Engines I know; Vulcans I don't," he sighed. "Why don't you put him
down, Mr. Spock? I'll not hurt him; just put him down."
Spock tilted his head as if considering it. Then miracles of
miracles, he put Len on the bed. But there the miracles stopped.
Spock placed himself between Len and Scotty; so Scotty couldn't get
"Well, then, Spock, it looks like it's you and me. Saints help me."
Scotty rushed Spock. Predictably, Spock defended Len and threw
Scotty against the bulkhead, but when Scotty approached a second time
Spock went from defense to offense and leapt off the bed toward
Scotty. As Spock rammed his head into Scotty's chest, it was shear
luck that Scotty administered the hypo before being sandwiched
between the wall and the Vulcan. Spock let forth with a howl Scotty
hoped never to hear again and then collapsed. Making sure Spock was
out and catching his breath, Scotty returned to Leonard.
Leonard was coming to as Scott took the opportunity to set the
partition to rights.
"It's me, Len."
"Scotty? Scotty, what the hell?" He swung his legs off the bed and
started to rise only to have the room spin.
"Len, are ye all right?"
"I feel like I've been on a binge; what happened?"
"You were unconscious."
Scotty retrieved a glass of water for Leonard and asked, "Len, do ye
know what happened? Did Spock knock ye out?"
"Of course not! What makes you think that? Damn, where is he?"
"Come look if ye kin."
Len rose cautiously and Scotty stood close by just in case. Looking
at the chaos that was formerly his cabin, Len vented a low whistle
followed by a mumbled "Holy Shit." Then he made quickly for Spock's
prone body. "What did you use?"
"Something A-Strida gave me."
"Yellow or blue?"
"All of it?"
"Aye. That's what she said. He'll be all right, won't he?"
"Yeah, he'll just be out of it for a while. It shouldn't effect his
system, just sort of put everything on hold."
"Len, A-Strida is still outside. One of us needs to report."
Leonard looked again at the disaster that was their living quarters
and at Spock. "Scotty can you get me one of his meditation robes?"
He pointed to the closet. When Scotty went to retrieve the robe,
Leonard stood struggling to pull Spock up with him and leaned him
against his body.
"Is this what ye be wantin'?"
"Yeah, that's it. Open the clasp at the shoulder and help me get him
Spock was dead weight, but the two of them managed to dress Spock in
his robe. "Normally I could get him there myself, but I'm not up to
it at the moment. You take his shoulders and I'll get his legs.
Let's get him to the bed."
"Uhff, how can he weigh so much?"
Leonard permitted a slight grin. Many an adversary had made mistaken
assumptions regarding Spock's trim form. "Vulcan bone and muscle
density is heavier than our ours."
Depositing Spock on the bed and watching as Len covered him up,
Scotty asked, "What are ye going to tell A-Strida?"
"The truth, Scotty. I'm not sure what the hell happened, but that
"What's the last thing you remember?"
"Being //on the desk// uh, being over by the desk. What did you find
when you came in? Wait; let me talk to A-Strida first. She's
probably chewing the bulkhead by now." Leonard looked at his own
state--sweaty, shaky, in a rumpled robe--and opted to use the
intercom. "McCoy to A-Strida."
*Len, is that you?*
Skepticism, not relief he noted. He wondered what had gone on
between the Chief Engineer and his ACMO. "It is, Tree; I'm fine."
"Not sure. But everything is under control."
*Leonard, let me check you over.*
"Thanks, Tree, but that won't be necessary. I'm fine. Spock's
fine." He noticed Scotty righting some of the overturned
furniture. "Scotty's fine, too."
Hearing his amusement eased some of her fear. *Okay, Len. What do
"I want a hot shower, a hot meal, and for you to go do what you're
paid to do. Go take care of my sickbay! McCoy out." He turned back
toward his would-be savior. "Thanks, Scotty, but I can handle it
"Len, I heard what ye said. Go take your shower; I'll see about
cleaning up some more of this mess."
Leonard held Scotty's gaze for a long moment and then
replied, "You're a good man, Montgomery Scott."
They had known each other a long time. "Then that would be makin'
three in this cabin, Dr. McCoy."
Leonard checked on his mate, took his shower and dressed, checked his
mate again, and took a mild pain reliever for his headache and muscle
strain. By the time he was ready to pitch in with cabin clean-up,
Scotty had most of it done.
"Eat, Len. I've done just about all that can be done. Things were
thrown around but not much was actually broken. A few things will
have to be replaced from Central Stores, though."
"Thank you, Scotty. Can I get you anything?"
"Well now, I am off duty," he hinted.
"You know where it is," Leonard waved in the opposite
direction, "help yourself."
"One for you?"
"No, we're not through this yet; I need real food." Len went to the
food dispenser to get some stew.
"Should I leave?"
Leonard noticed the uneasiness in Scotty's voice, almost embarrassed
and uncertain. "No, stay. At least until he comes to. I'd like to
know what brought you here and what happened."
As Scotty drank a fine malt whiskey and Leonard ate, Scotty recounted
the events that led him to the cabin and described the state in which
he had found Spock. "I tell ye, Len, he was not actually threatening
me, but he sure dinna want me to get near you."
"We're bond mates, Scotty. To a Vulcan that means protecting me is
at the top of his list. Something must have happened to make him
think I was in danger, and I can only guess that it had to do with my
"Do ye know what caused that? You said he didn't hurt you, but what
would make you pass out like that? And what would make him destroy
"I'm not sure, though I do have a hunch. I'm gonna have to wait
until he gets through this before I run it passed him, though."
"Len, I know it's none of my business, but can ye, ye know, can ye
handle him? How much longer . . .I don't want to pry, but I" he let
the thought die.
Leonard refilled Scotty's drink. "It's okay, Scotty. I think today
entitles you to know whatever you want to know. As for how much
longer, I don't know. Another day or two probably, though I don't
think even he can continue at the pace he was."
Scotty visibly blushed as what Leonard meant sank in.
"Sorry, Scotty. Didn't mean to drag you there."
"Yes, you did. And I think you're about the only one who hasn't
asked about my bond with Spock over the years. You're our friend as
well as our crewmate; you know you can."
"It never mattered. Nah, that's not what I mean to say. Of course
your bond matters to you, and it matters to those of us who are your
friends, just as my relationships have mattered to you. I mean that
your bond never made a difference in how you treated me or in how you
two did your jobs. This is still the finest ship in the fleet, and
that's partly because of the two of you as individuals and as members
of the crew, not because you're bonded. You've always been
discreet. You've always argued like a married couple, but I can only
think of two times when you two were *on duty* that I remember
thinking 'these lads surely do belong to one another.'"
"When was that?" Leonard was both surprised and pleased.
"Oh, some time ago. The first time was on the bridge. I was working
on the helm. You were standing behind Spock at the Science Station.
You put your hand on his shoulder, and that struck me as odd until I
realized it was what Spock didn't do that was different?"
"Wait a minute, you've lost me. Jim sometimes puts his hand on
"Aye, he does. Uhura has; even I have once or twice without
thinking. But whenever anyone touched Spock like that, he always
turned towards them. Now if you're at my back with your hand on my
shoulder and I turn around towards you, what happens?"
"I dunno, what happens?"
"You have to move your hand, laddie! We all know about not touching
Spock, but sometimes when we're not thinking we do it anyway. It
comes naturally to us. Spock doesn't tense up, doesn't ask us to
stop touching him, but he always moves to look at us. He trades the
eye contact for the physical contact. Even with the Captain. But
you put your hand on his shoulder to look at his screen, and all he
did was lean back in his chair to give you a better view of it. Only
when you removed your hand from his shoulder to point at something on
the screen did he turn toward you. I don't think the two of you even
knew what you did, but it did get me to thinking."
"You mentioned two times. What was the other?"
"The training cruise before the one that led to Genesis. Exec staff
was in the briefing room, it had been a long meeting, and Spock
called for lunch to be brought in. You left the room to go check on
something in Sickbay and sandwiches were brought in while you were
"Yeah, I vaguely remember that. That class hadn't even gotten close
to the Kobayashi Maru, having bombed the Corbomite Maneuver twice. We
were trying to figure out what to do about it."
"Aye, that's the one. The sandwiches were passed out, people were
off talking, and you hadn't returned yet. I saw Spock reach over and
take the tomato off your sandwich and put it on your plate."
"So, he knows I don't like soggy bread."
"That's exactly what he said when he noticed me looking at him,"
Scotty chuckled and shook his head negatively, "but Len I've known
Uhura for longer than Spock's known you. There's no way she would
have done something like with my food. She won't even snitch a
French fry. I have to offer her one. It was an innocent gesture,
one of reflex, but one that comes from intimate association of
another's habits and preferences."
"We do try to keep our professional and personal lives separate, but
hasn't always been easy. Especially recently," he added wryly.
"Aye, I know."
"Thanks for telling me those stories. It's always nice to have the
support of ones' friends."
"What's not to support. You brought him peace. He brought you
contentment. How could I not support that?" Sensing Leonard's
growing embarrassment at the praise, Scotty added, "And I have to
admit that I have on several occasions taken pleasure in trying to
convince some green ensign who is hearing about one of your battles
that you two don't despise one another, or in watching a crewman's or
a visitor's face when you or Spock is the object of affection and
someone tells them that not only are you bonded but whom your bonded
"You're cruel, Mr. Scott."
"On occasion, Dr. McCoy. But seriously, Len, you passed out
earlier. Aren't ye concerned that it will happen again?"
"I'll take a stimulant, Scotty; I'll wear a wrist monitor so I can
see what's happening myself. I know what to do. And besides, unless
you're prepared to offer services above and beyond the call of Chief
Engineer, I have no choice but to not let it happen again."
Any response to Leonard's statement was cut off by a raspy breath
from the sleeping area. Both men moved to the bedside to check
Spock. "He's coming to, Scotty. It's probably best if you're not
"Yeah, let's not risk it. I don't know what he'll remember or how
They began to move toward the door.
"Very well. Should I check in with ye periodically to play it safe?"
"No. I'll check in with you when I know more."
Scotty was not convinced that was enough so he made sure to take A-
Strida's medscanner with him to return to the ACMO. He wanted her to
continue to monitor Len.
"Scotty, thanks. I'll owe you another drink with this is all over."
"I'll look forward to it."
Leonard keyed the privacy lock as the door shut and immediately
returned to Spock. He began to stroke Spock's forehead
lightly. "Spock, can you hear me? Spock. Come on, it's time to
wake up." Leonard considered striking Spock as if he had been in a
healing trance, then remembering Scotty's description of Spock's
emotional state thought better of it. "Come on, Sleeping Beauty,
that sedative should have worn off by now. Wake up." He began
lightly smacking Spock on the side of face. As Spock elicited a
slight groan, Leonard moved his hand to Spock's chest. "Spock, come
on. Wake up, dammit."
Suddenly Leonard was grabbed in an iron grip, lifted and flipped onto
his back on the bed before he had time to react. "Uph, Ouch." But
upon regaining his breath he was surprised and worried by the look of
the face peering over him and the bruising grip that remained on his
wrists. On any other face, Leonard would have labeled that look
Spock had Leonard by his wrists and had pinned Leonard to the bed
with his own body. Slowly Leonard noticed the grip on his wrists
ease; the expression of Spock's eyes growing softer. Finally, Spock
closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Leonard's shoulder.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong? Are you still in plak tow? Is it still
bad?" The heat of Spock's body was still higher than normal.
Spock released Leonard's wrists and shifted his weight allowing them
both to be more comfortable. He turned his head and Leonard felt the
warm breath on his neck and face. "Spock, let me get my scanner," he
said growing more concerned by the moment.
//Stay. I am better.//
Leonard took a deep breath of relief that the link was back and
closer to normal. He let his hands begin to caress Spock's back and
arm. "You are still in the fever, though." He could still feel it
himself now that the link was resumed.
"Yes, though it wanes." Spock paused before continuing, "I have been
"Yeah, Scotty had to sedate you. I, uh, passed out. He wanted to
check on me."
Leonard felt a tension run through Spock's body, a tension with which
he was not familiar. //Spock, clue me in here.//
//I thought I had killed you.//
Spock took an audible deep breath. "I thought I had killed you. I
reached through the link and you were not there. I was receiving no
response from you in any manner of speaking. I was not even coming
up against your shields. I thought I had killed you."
Leonard listened to Spock's despair, touched well beyond his own
emotional control. //Oh, sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I was trying to
withdraw from the link and then I passed out.//
"In my grief, I became . . . destructive."
Leonard shifted to try to look at Spock, but Spock only turned his
face away from his mate. "It's not your fault, Spock. I was trying
to help you through the link like I have before, but I couldn't quite
reach you, yet I kept finding it harder and harder to withdraw. So I
just stopped trying. I was having to shield pretty hard against the
blood fever, too. More so than in the past. I couldn't find you in
the fever. I couldn't get away from the fever. I couldn't stay in
the link and shield against the emotional turmoil at the same time.
I'm sorry, Spock. I was no help at all. I think maybe my body just
shut down to try to protect itself, the way a body lapses into a coma
when pain becomes too great."
"Then did Mr. Scott revive you?"
"No, I came to on my own. Apparently right after he knocked you out."
Having regained some of his control and being intrigued by Leonard's
speculative explanation, Spock turned on his back and drew Leonard
into his arms. "I thought Mr. Scott was attempting to take you away
"He was trying to see if I was injured."
"No, not physically."
Spock would not accept that at face value. He knew his mate, too
Leonard sighed and gave in. "Nothing beyond a little muscle strain
from one of your more creative positions and a hickey. Thank you
very much for *that* by the way."
Spock let his amusement tickle the link for a moment before
asking, "Did I injure Mr. Scott?"
"No. Scared the haggis out him perhaps. I think we owe him a nice
bottle of Scotch for coming to our rescue."
"Spock, do you have any idea what happened?"
"I believe your theory is accurate, at least to a point. Our bond is
stronger since the fal tor pan. We have both noticed that. Your
shielding has always been strong, but it too has seemed stronger.
Mine, on the other hand, is no longer as strong as it was--at least
where you are concerned. And it has been at its weakest given the
blood fever. In searching for you and in trying to burn out the
fever, I forced you to 'overload' your shields. I continued to try to
re-establish the link. When I could no longer do that to due to the
sedation, you were, in essence, released. I should have anticipated
this." Spock began absently caressing Leonard.
"There are records of this with two Vulcan males drawing each other
into the pon farr."
"Like when a house full of human females ends up on the same
menstrual cycle?" Leonard mused.
"That is more biological. Our connection is mental."
"And enhanced because of carrying your katra?"
"In all probability."
"What do we do now?" Leonard shifted his body to snuggle closer to
"I can teach you to withdraw from the link differently without
putting up shields, much as when I withdraw from a mind meld. And we
can consult a healer if you wish to lessen our bond."
"No, I don't want that." He added softly, "unless you do."
Spock answered that by turning to brush his lips against his
mates. "No, but a healer should be consulted before we must deal
with this again, so that you are not as affected by the fever the
next time. I believe, however, that the fever has abated enough that
I should not endanger you again during this cycle."
"Nevertheless, you still have that fever. And I believe it is my
duty as a physician to see if I can appropriately treat that fever,"
Spock let the intensity of the fever reach his mate to reinforce his
words. "Your skills would be appreciated, doctor."
And with that Leonard began ministrations that were not taught to him
in med school.
Leonard was in his office in Sickbay when he felt a familiar
presence. He looked up from his journal to await the arrival of his
mate. He did not have to wait long before Spock appeared at his door.
"Doctor, may I interrupt you?"
"Of course, Mr. Spock. I was just reading the latest volume of 'Xeno
Quarterly.' Wanna see the centerfold?" It was a long-running and
long past amusing joke, but Leonard was trying to get a rise out of
the scientist that was his mate. Spock had been unusually reserved
and stoic since resuming active duty.
Predictably, however, Spock ignored the remark and merely stepped
inside the office and stood to the side of the desk.
Leonard shut the computer display off and asked, "What can I do for,
Spock extended his arm and held two fingers out to Leonard. It was a
gesture Leonard had come to relish over the years, but it was a
gesture Spock rarely offered in public and had *never* offered while
they were on duty. But Leonard would not deny him. He touched his
fingers to Spock and began a slow caress. //Spock?//
"I have felt your grief at my death."
Leonard wondered where this was coming from and what it was all
about. "I know. And I have felt your regret at causing that grief.
But we both know there was no other way. And I'm just eternally
grateful that I got you back. So, what's the reason for bringing
this up now?"
"I thought I understood. I did not." Sensing Leonard's confusion,
Spock sat down on the corner of Leonard's desk. But he did not
relinquish the contact of their fingers. "I have felt your grief.
But, I did not understand it fully until I experienced my own. The
belief that I had killed you, the belief that you were dead has . . .
haunted . . . me for the last few days. Meditation has not
sufficiently rectified the situation."
"Ah, Sweetheart," Leonard whispered. "I'm alive and I'm well and I
intend to be both of those things for quite some time. One day, one
of us is gonna have to face that feeling again. And I'm sorry to say
that it will probably be you. But until then, we have this," he
directed his gaze at their touching fingers. "And this." He
maneuvered his hand so that he could intertwine all of his fingers
with Spock's. He squeezed hard, making his point felt physically and
Spock nodded, but he did not let go. "I am cognizant of that fact.
And I anticipated your response, but I hoped my confession
would . . . "
"Exorcise the demon?" Leonard finished for him. "I'll make you a
deal, Mr. Spock." Leonard began as he released his mate's hand and
flipped the computer display back on. "Let's finish our shift. And
when we get back to our quarters, I'll show just how alive I am.
Maybe we can find some way other than meditation to put that little
episode behind us."
Spock let his smile show in his eyes if not his lips. He turned to
leave and was almost out the door when Leonard called to
him. "Besides, Spock, if I gotta go, I can't think of a better way
than with a smile on my face and your cock up my ass."
Leonard's reward was all he hoped for--one absolutely shocked,
totally embarrassed, and completely flustered Vulcan.