Title:  I’m a Doctor Not a Poet

Author: tprillahfiction

Series: ST TOS

Pairing: S/Mc

Rating: PG

Word count: 1,300 approx

Summary:  McCoy struggles to tell Spock he loves him.

I’M A DOCTOR NOT A POET

McCoy sat at his desk in his office, glass of brandy at the elbow, tapping his stylus against the PADD.  What to write, what to write, what to write? Dammit.  He wasn’t good at this romance stuff--what the hell was he a doctor or cupid for Christ’s sake?

He glared at the empty screen.  Goddammit.  Okay, okay, okay, I got something:

Roses are red,

violets are blue

Spock has pointy ears

and I love to suck on them--

No, no, no, no!  He hit the delete key.  Try something else.

Roses are red,

Tribbles are cute

Vulcans are logical

but they sure do moan when they’re getting laid--

NO!  Dammit.  He hit the delete key once again.  Try not to be so vulgar.  He wanted to be romantic, not a goddamned creep.  Plus, he isn’t even making these damn things rhyme, they’re supposed to rhyme, dammit, aren’t they?  How the hell should he know, the last time he’d written poetry was in high school for an assignment and it was terrible then.

Just then Jim Kirk came sauntering in.  “Hi, Bones!”

“Hi,” McCoy said, growling and grimacing.

“What’s eatin’ you, this time?  Routine charting?”

“No.”

“Some difficult medical treatment you’re planning for a patient?”

“No.”

“I know, I know!” Jim held up a hand.  “The physical exam schedule for the entire crew!  I knew it!  That would piss off anybody.”

 “No.  That’s not it.”

Jim went over to the brandy bottle, helped himself a glass--McCoy didn’t even feel like serving as polite host at this point.  “Well, what is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, when you say nothing, it’s always something.”

McCoy smacked a hand down on the desk, making a loud slap.  “It is NOT always something!  Just--working on something sensitive at the moment.”

“I understand, Bones.  You can’t share what you’re doing.  Doctor, patient privilege.”

“It’s nothing like that, Jim.  I’m off duty.  It’s nothing to do with medicine, though maybe’d I’d be more successful at it, if it was.”

“Come on, tell me, Bones.”

“No.  You’ll laugh.”

“I won’t laugh.”

Bones just growled again.

“Come on, you’re a doctor not a damned wolf.” Jim held out his hand.  “Gimme.”

Bones had to crack a smile at that.  “There’s nothing on the PADD, Jim.”

“Let me be the judge of that.  Hand it over, that’s an order.”

“You can’t order me... Fine, Jim.  Here.”  He handed it over and held out his hands.  “See the screen?  Completely empty.”

Jim gave him a sideways glance.  Fingers flying, he made a few notations on the PADD and called up:

“Roses are Red,

Violets are blue,

Spock has pointy ears,

and I love to suck on them?” he read out loud.

McCoy leaned forward and yanked the PADD out of Jim’s hands.  Jim was of course laughing his ass off. 

“It’s not funny, dammit.”

“Oh, but it is, my dear Bones.  You like to suck on his pointy ears?”

“None of your business.”

“You’re writing love poetry to Spock.  That’s absolutely adorable.”

“Yeah but I’m terrible at it.  I can’t think of what to write.  I hate this mushy stuff.  Maybe I need to get drunk.  That’ll help.”

Jim thought for a moment.  “I can’t think of anything either.  Not a big poetry writing kinda guy.” 

“How do you write haiku?” McCoy asked him.  “How many syllables is it?  I forgot.”

Jim sighed.  “Look, Bones.  First of all, I can’t even picture the two of you having sex, or even being alone in the same room together without killing each other--and Spock, I don’t even want to think about what he’s like in bed.”

“Once again it’s none of your damned business,” McCoy said.

“Exactly.  So, I mean, besides sucking on his pointy ears--and thanks for that visual--have you ever told him you loved him?”

“I dunno--maybe.”

“Well, have you?”

“He already knows I care about him, I’m sure of it.  He’s telepathic.”

“Have you ever voiced those three little words?”

“I was trying to with the poetry.”  McCoy scowled into his brandy.

“Hmm,” Jim said.  He grew quiet and that was fine by McCoy--damn captain and his nosy questioning.  Jim scrunched up his face then made a few scribbles on the PADD, finally pushing it towards the doctor.  “Here you go, Bones.”

Bones squinted at the up side down text.  “What’s that?”

“Haiku.”  Jim stood up.  “I’m off to bed.  Goodnight.”

When those doors swooshed shut, Bones picked up the PADD.

“Vulcans like to hear

those verbal affirmations

we all hold dear.”

He set the PADD down on his desk and shook his head.

*

When Spock came to his quarters that evening, McCoy was sitting at his desk waiting for him. 

“Hello, Leonard,” Spock said.  “This is a...” he seemed to search for the word, “surprise.”

“Yeah well--I know we usually like to schedule our physical encounters and y’know, plan our dates to the last minute detail, but I thought I’d uh....I dunno, show up unannounced.” McCoy shrugged.  “I mean--if you aren’t up to entertaining any guests, I can,” he nodded towards the door, “git on outta here.”

Spock came closer to the doctor.  “By all means, please stay.  Would you like a drink?”

“Oh God, yes,” McCoy breathed.  “Something strong.”

“You have your brandy here, would you like that?”

McCoy nodded.  He sat transfixed, watching Spock’s deft fingers pull a glass out from the cupboard, then open up the decanter and pour out the brandy.  Spock seemed to be dragging his actions out, deliberately doing it in a suggestive manner, but that didn’t seem at all like Spock and McCoy was projecting, anyway.

“Everything alright, Leonard?” Spock asked as he handed over the glass.

McCoy took it and immediately had a huge sip--Spock watching with amusement.  “Hmm?  Uh...no.  Everything’s fine.”

Spock went over to the replicator and called up a glass of herbal tea.  “I am gratified.”

McCoy took another sip of his brandy.  “Oh.”

“Are you certain that you are alright?  You seem pensive.”

“You’re an authority on human emotions are ya?” McCoy said, gently without a trace of hostility in his voice.

“My time spent with humans gives much opportunity for observation.”

“Spock,” McCoy suddenly said.

Spock turned from the replicator.  “Yes?”

“Do you uh...regret entering into a sexual relationship with me?”

If McCoy didn’t know the Vulcan any better, he’d thought those dark eyes widened.  “Not at all.”

“Aren’t I...a little too...much of an emotional pain in the ass?”

Spock made a shrug using only the muscles in his face and neck.  “Sometimes.”

McCoy bristled a little at that. 

“I was only making a joke, Leonard.”

“Oh...alright.”

Suddenly Spock seemed to come to some type of conclusion.  “Ah.”

“What?”

“You came to my quarters to end the relationship.”

“No!” McCoy said.  “No, that’s not why I’m here, I just....” He hesitated.  “Goddammit.”

“Leonard, it would be best if you told me precisely what is on your mind.”

“Yes, you’re right.”  McCoy crept up to Spock and placed both hands squarely on his shoulders.  “I came to your quarters because I missed you.  I wanted to see you--even though we’d made no plans to be together tonight, because sometimes being spontaneous is nice.”

Spock nodded in agreement.  “It is indeed nice to be spontaneous once in awhile.”

“Extremely nice,” McCoy said.

“Indeed.”

With his hands still on Spock’s shoulders McCoy scrunched up his face.  “Oh to hell with it--you know I’m not very good with this shit, but uh...I wanted to tell you...I love you, Spock.”

“Fascinating.”

McCoy removed his hands.  “That’s all you gotta say, is ‘fascinating’?”

“I was wondering how long it would take you to verbalize it.”

“Why?”

“Every time you touch me, I can feel that you do.”

McCoy smirked.  “You can?”

“The words were unnecessary.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Well good.  Then uh...” McCoy smirked again.  “Let me show you how much I love you, then, huh?”

As they went into Spock’s sleeping chamber and began kissing and removing their respective uniforms, they made love without any words.

END