His favorite food is plomeek soup
   Which stinks
His favorite dish is spiced peaches
   Which upset my stomach

Plus he’s a vegetarian
   Which sometimes is damned inconvenient
He eats meat
   Which is unhealthy

He sips herbal tea and Altair water  
   Which gets boring
   Even to look at
He drinks coffee and alcohol
   Both of which I disapprove
   Due to their mind-altering effects

He likes the room sweltering out
   And steals all the covers
He prefers the room unreasonably cold
   And kicks off the blankets

He always wants to use his fingers when we kiss
He wants to use his lips when we kiss

You sure don’t mind me using my mouth other ways
You don’t mind me utilizing my fingers other ways

He likes to play chess
   Which I’m getting better at
   But he still beats me occasionally
   Well . . . a lot   
He likes to play poker
   At which he regularly wins
   His luck defies the laws of probability

I thought you didn’t believe in luck
Having seen you draw two royal flushes in one game
   I now believe in luck
   Because Mr. Scott was too inebriated to be stacking the deck

He is a devoted friend
   Brave and caring
   Although he can come across as cold, callous and distant
He is a devoted friend
   Brave and caring
   Although he can be argumentative, irascible and illogical

Why do you always have to say I’m illogical?
Perhaps it is because you persist in arguing with me

He thinks Vulcans are better than Humans
He believes Humans are better than Vulcans

I don’t think Humans are better than Vulcans
   I married a Vulcan, for God’s sake
   I just think Vulcans would be better off
   If they loosened up a little
   Well, maybe a lot 
I do not believe Vulcans are better than Humans
   I have a Human mother as well as a Human husband
   I do believe most Humans would benefit
   From utilizing logic more often

It gets on my nerves how his voice stays so damn quiet and calm
   When we’re having an argument like this
It hurts my ears when he raises his voice
   While we are discussing things

He’s a brilliant scientist
   But is more proud of being Vulcan
   Than of his accomplishments
   I don’t know what’s logical about that
He’s a brilliant scientist
   But boasts about being an old country doctor
   A claim which is illogical
   Since he is not yet elderly 
   And has never practiced medicine in a rural area
   Pride, by the way, is a Human emotion  
   To which Vulcans are immune
 
He works too hard
   And doesn’t get enough sleep
   He thinks he has to be the perfect Vulcan
He works too hard
   And doesn’t get enough sleep 
   He thinks he has to be an exemplary physician 
   I repeat:  pride is a Human emotion
   To which Vulcans are immune

He gets moody after talking with his father
   Even now he thinks he’s disappointed Sarek
He gets moody after talking with his daughter
   He thinks he’s been a poor father to Joanna

His parents were unsurprised and approving when we married
   At least he and Amanda claim Sarek was pleased
   It’s hard sometimes to tell with Vulcans
   I know damn well T’Pau was pissed off
   Having another Human in the family
His daughter was shocked when we married
   And initially disapproving
   Although he insists Joanna has long since changed her mind
   But his first wife is still irrationally displeased about his remarriage

He admits to being blue when I married Natira
   And not just because I was dying
   Or remaining on an artificial world
   Scheduled to get blown out of its simulated sky
   At the time, though, I didn’t recognize his reaction for what it was
He claims he was green with jealousy when I almost married T’Pring
   But the only change in complexion I noticed
   Was his being flushed with the heat on Vulcan 
   And I have never mentioned a change in my own color
   In connection with his precipitate marriage
   To the high priestess of Yonada  

He’s glad I dumped her
   God knows I’m glad I dumped her
   Though she was a big improvement over my first wife
I was relieved when my betrothal to T’Pring was broken
   Even though T’Pau was displeased

I’m glad I married him
   Because in spite of his faults
   I love him

I’m glad we are bonded
   Because despite his Human idiosyncrasies
   I reciprocate his affection
 
Reciprocate my affection?  
   Can’t you do any better than that?!
You know I do not like to engage in public displays of affection
    However . . . yes, I do love you

And he’s right
   My luck does defy all laws of probability
   I’m damned lucky to have him as my husband
And I am equally lucky
   To have him as bondmate