Title: Kind of Vulcan
(thanks, Janet, for letting me bend the rules)
Author: Shoshana
Description:
Filk adapted, with extra verses, from “Kind of Woman”
from Pippin, music and
lyrics by Stephen Schwartz. Companion
piece to “Kind of Doctor.”
Pairing: S/Mc brief
reference to Spock’s misalliance with T’Pring,
and to T’Pring/Stonn
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. Not a molecule, atom, quark
or vibrating string of it. Nor do I own
or profit in any way from
the lyrics of Pippin. Not a stanza, line,
word or syllable.
CATHERINE
I`M YOUR AVERAGE ORDINARY KIND OF WOMAN
COMPETENT AND NEAT
MAKING LIFE A TREAT
OTHERS
AS NICE
YOU MEET OFTEN I KNOW
AT LEAST ONCE OR TWICE
EVERY DECADE OR SO
I`M YOUR EVERYDAY, CUSTOMARY KIND
OF WOMAN
PRACTICAL AS SALT
MODEST TO A FAULT
CONSERVATIVE WITH A BUDGET
LIBERAL WITH A MEAL
JUST YOUR AVERAGE
IDEAL
MY TELLING YOU THIS
MAY SEEM SUDDEN AND STRANGE
IT MAY NOT INTEREST YOU MUCH AT ALL RIGHT NOW
BUT THINGS
CHANGE
THINGS CHANGE
STILL I`LL UNDERSTAND IF I`M NOT YOUR KIND OF WOMAN
ANYONE CAN MAKE
ONE TERRIBLE MISTAKE
BUT
I`VE NO SPECIAL GLAMOUR
NO BAIT I CAN TWIRL
FOR I`M JUST A PLAIN, EVERYDAY
COMMONPLACE, COME-WHAT-MAY
AVERAGE,
ORDINARY
WONDERFUL GIRL!
These lyrics are not available for printing.
CATHERINE
I`M YOUR AVERAGE ORDINARY KIND OF WOMAN
COMPETENT AND NEAT
MAKING LIFE A TREAT
OTHERS
AS NICE
YOU MEET OFTEN I KNOW
AT LEAST ONCE OR TWICE
EVERY DECADE OR SO
I`M YOUR EVERYDAY, CUSTOMARY KIND
OF WOMAN
PRACTICAL AS SALT
MODEST TO A FAULT
CONSERVATIVE WITH A BUDGET
LIBERAL WITH A MEAL
JUST YOUR AVERAGE
IDEAL
MY TELLING YOU THIS
MAY SEEM SUDDEN AND STRANGE
IT MAY NOT INTEREST YOU MUCH AT ALL RIGHT NOW
BUT THINGS
CHANGE
THINGS CHANGE
STILL I`LL UNDERSTAND IF I`M NOT YOUR KIND OF WOMAN
ANYONE CAN MAKE
ONE TERRIBLE MISTAKE
BUT
I`VE NO SPECIAL GLAMOUR
NO BAIT I CAN TWIRL
FOR I`M JUST A PLAIN, EVERYDAY
COMMONPLACE, COME-WHAT-MAY
AVERAGE,
ORDINARY
WONDERFUL GIRL!
These lyrics are not available for printing.
CATHERINE
I`M YOUR AVERAGE ORDINARY KIND OF WOMAN
COMPETENT AND NEAT
MAKING LIFE A TREAT
OTHERS
AS NICE
YOU MEET OFTEN I KNOW
AT LEAST ONCE OR TWICE
EVERY DECADE OR SO
I`M YOUR EVERYDAY, CUSTOMARY KIND
OF WOMAN
PRACTICAL AS SALT
MODEST TO A FAULT
CONSERVATIVE WITH A BUDGET
LIBERAL WITH A MEAL
JUST YOUR AVERAGE
IDEAL
MY TELLING YOU THIS
MAY SEEM SUDDEN AND STRANGE
IT MAY NOT INTEREST YOU MUCH AT ALL RIGHT NOW
BUT THINGS
CHANGE
THINGS CHANGE
STILL I`LL UNDERSTAND IF I`M NOT YOUR KIND OF WOMAN
ANYONE CAN MAKE
ONE TERRIBLE MISTAKE
BUT
I`VE NO SPECIAL GLAMOUR
NO BAIT I CAN TWIRL
FOR I`M JUST A PLAIN, EVERYDAY
COMMONPLACE, COME-WHAT-MAY
AVERAGE,
ORDINARY
WONDERFUL GIRL!
These lyrics are not available for printing.
CATHERINE
I`M YOUR AVERAGE ORDINARY KIND OF WOMAN
COMPETENT AND NEAT
MAKING LIFE A TREAT
OTHERS
AS NICE
YOU MEET OFTEN I KNOW
AT LEAST ONCE OR TWICE
EVERY DECADE OR SO
I`M YOUR EVERYDAY, CUSTOMARY KIND
OF WOMAN
PRACTICAL AS SALT
MODEST TO A FAULT
CONSERVATIVE WITH A BUDGET
LIBERAL WITH A MEAL
JUST YOUR AVERAGE
IDEAL
MY TELLING YOU THIS
MAY SEEM SUDDEN AND STRANGE
IT MAY NOT INTEREST YOU MUCH AT ALL RIGHT NOW
BUT THINGS
CHANGE
THINGS CHANGE
STILL I`LL UNDERSTAND IF I`M NOT YOUR KIND OF WOMAN
ANYONE CAN MAKE
ONE TERRIBLE MISTAKE
BUT
I`VE NO SPECIAL GLAMOUR
NO BAIT I CAN TWIRL
FOR I`M JUST A PLAIN, EVERYDAY
COMMONPLACE, COME-WHAT-MAY
AVERAGE,
ORDINARY
WONDERFUL GIRL!
These lyrics are not available for printing.
I’m
your average, ordinary kind of Vulcan
Logical
and neat
I
never touch meat
Others
as precise
You
meet often I know
At
least once or twice
Every
century or so
I’m
your typical, customary kind of Vulcan
My
room is quite hot
I
checkmate a lot
Numbers
I crunch
Ship’s
computers I fix
Disdain
every hunch
Meditate
for my kicks
I’m
your commonplace, ordinary kind of Vulcan
Even
with T’Pau
I
raise my eyebrow
Notably
strong
I’m
known never to laugh
I
seldom am wrong
Though
I’m human by half
I’m
your everyday, customary kind of Vulcan
My
behavior’s bizarre
Suffering
Pon Farr
Needing
to mate
I
sought Lady T’Pring
The
urge did abate
She
chose Stonn for a fling
I’m
your regular, ordinary kind of Vulcan
Too
often alone
I’m
not made of stone
Born
of mixed race
My
heart bypassed my chest
It’s
in the right place
Only
you haven’t guessed
I’m
your usual, customary kind of Vulcan
I
pilot shuttles
Make
dry rebuttals
Though I am
curt
I feel heartfelt
concern
Not least when
you’re hurt
Maybe one day
you’ll learn
I’m
your hardly extraordinary kind of Vulcan
I’m
a polymath
And
touch telepath
Though
generous with my katra
I
hide what I feel
Just
your average ideal
My telling you
this
May seem sudden
and strange
It may not interest
you much at all right now
But things change
Things change
Still I’ll
understand if I’m not your kind of Vulcan
Any Doctor can
make
One terrible
mistake
I’ve no
human defects
I never would
lie
For I’m
just a plain, pointed-eared
Hybrid bioengineered
Vulcanized,
fascinating
Green-blooded
guy!
S.